When Is The Best Time To Do Sleep Training?
When is Best Time to Sleep Train?
Every parent dreams of restful nights where they put baby to bed, they sleep all night and wake up happy at 7am…but some kiddos need a nudge with sleep training to get to that point. Figuring out when to start sleep training can be overwhelming. Some families jump in as soon as the pediatrician gives the green light, and others wait, hoping things will improve naturally, while others feel too busy or uncertain about where to begin. This blog post will explore when the best time to sleep train is, which ages are easier or more challenging, and actionable steps for success.
Why Parents Wait to Sleep Train
Parents (and their babies) aren’t getting sleep, but they delay sleep training because they:
1. Think Sleep Issues Will Get Better on Their Own
Some parents believe their child will eventually “grow out of it.” However, sleep problems can persist for years without intervention. Here are some research studies and their findings:
Pediatrics - 21% of children who had sleep issues as babies still had sleep issues at age 3
Pediatrics - in a study with 8 month olds who had trouble falling and/or staying asleep, 41% were still struggling with their sleep issues at 3 years of age
Journal of Pediatrics - 60 children between the ages of 15-48 months and 25% still had a hard time falling asleep at bedtime and/or nightwakings and 3 years later, 84% of those children were still experiencing sleep issues.
One of my clients waited until her daughter was 6 years old to do sleep training, thinking things would improve naturally. But things didn’t get better on their own. The turning point? When her daughter was invited to a sleepover and asked if Mom could go too—because she had never fallen asleep without her.
Why wait months (or years!) to wait and see if things get better?
Most parents I’ve worked with that had older toddlers and preschoolers had a gut feeling that their child’s sleep wasn’t going to get better on its own when their children were babies…but wishful thinking kept them from taking action sooner.
2. Too Busy with Work
Juggling work and parenting is exhausting. One client considered sleep training at 5 months, right after returning to work from maternity leave, but got too busy with the new workload and trying to balance work and family. Months of sleep deprivation later, she ended up taking vacation time right after her child’s first birthday just to fix her child’s sleep. After sleep training, she regretted not starting sooner when it would have been an easier process…and saved her months of sleepless nights!
If you have 4 or more months of maternity leave, it’s easiest to do sleep training before you go back to work. If you’ll have a nanny, starting 7-10 days before you go back to work will be plenty of time to get the foundation set. If your baby will be going to daycare, having at least 2 weeks to concentrate on sleep training before you go back to work is preferable.
3. Family Life Is Too Hectic
Parents with multiple children often delay sleep training, thinking it will disrupt the household. But in reality, improving one child’s sleep can help the entire family function better.
You may need to get creative during sleep training so you can focus on the process 100% to make it go more quickly and easier, but it’s worth it! That may mean setting up carpools for preschool for the older sibling, having someone else take your older child to swim lessons, and/or getting some extra white noise going in the hallway to help your older child sleep trough any night wakings!
4. Worried About Crying
Sleep training is about teaching independent sleep skills, and the right approach—based on your child’s temperament and other factors—will minimize the crying.
If you’ve tried sleep training on your own and had hours of consistent crying at bedtime or overnight, that’s not normal. Working with a sleep consultant can help with choosing the right method for your child and optimize schedules so your child is going to sleep in the right windows where it’s easier to fall asleep—-both of which will help reduce the amount of crying.
5. Not Knowing Where to Start
With so much conflicting advice, it’s easy to feel stuck. This is where hiring a sleep consultant can make all the difference. A tailored approach can lead to faster, smoother results without unnecessary stress. And just like hiring a personal trainer at the gym, can keep you accountable to the process—even if you have a hard couple of nights!—so everyone can start sleeping through the night.
What Ages Are Easiest for Sleep Training (And Why)
While sleep training is possible at any age, 4-6 months is typically the easiest age.
Babies are developmentally ready to learn self-soothing skills, their sleep cycles are more predictable and the bad sleep habits they’re getting used to (i.e. rocking, feeding to sleep, motion naps) aren’t deeply ingrained yet.
A typical 4 month that I work with who has one or more sleep prop dependencies will start seeing good improvement by Night 3 of sleep training.
Whenever I work with babies, I do baby-led night weaning (assuming pediatrician has given the green light to stop night feeds) and in the process, we’ll teach baby that milk is for nutrition, not to get back to sleep. The added bonus is that many babies who are struggling with short, snack feeds 24-hours a day will start eating more at each feed during the daytime hours.
Between 6-12 months, it’s still relatively easy to teach self-soothing, they can sleep longer stretches without needing to eat overnight and can better understand sleep routines. But they’re starting to have separation anxiety and transitioning to a two nap schedule, which can make it a bit harder.
More Challenging Ages to Sleep Train (And Why)
Toddlers between 18 months - 3 years will test boundaries, push every button, resist changes and become masters of stalling. That said, they’re older and smarter, so rewards (and consequences), bedtime routine charts and special playtime with mom or dad can make the process easier. Sleep training at this age involves setting clear expectations. Stalling and protesting are common but are completely manageable when you have a solid plan and are consistent in your responses.
By the time children are 3-6 years old, sleep habits are deeply ingrained, so making changes will harder and/or take longer. They likely have strong preferences (e.g., needing a parent to stay in the room) and are unwilling to let those things go without a fight.
One of my clients waited until her son was 4 before realizing she needed help getting his sleep under control. Many of her friends had children that didn’t sleep well either, and she just thought it was normal. His issues had started as a baby, needing to be rocked and fed to sleep every night until he was 2, and then when they transitioned him to a bed, mom had to lay with him at bedtime until she started sleep training when he was 4. By that time, he was mobile and got out of bed continuously and could talk well (and negotiate!).
She understood that sleep training this age was so much harder than if she had just done it earlier when he was a baby. Ahh, hindsight is 20-20, but don’t have regrets about not starting sooner. Just make the decision to start today.
Common Myths About Sleep Training
“Sleep training means letting my baby cry for hours.”
FALSE! I don’t recommend any CIO method where you leave your child for hours alone crying. That’s just mean and unnecessary! When you use the right sleep training method, optimize the nap and bedtime schedule, ensure bellies are full before sleep and check off all the other boxes, the crying during sleep training is minimized, and starts lessening after a short time.
“My child’s sleep is just a phase.” or “Babies will eventually learn to sleep on their own.”
The studies cited at the beginning of this post show that children don’t usually outgrown sleep issues on their own, especially when their need of sleep props stays the same (or gets stronger) as they get older.
If your child was a better sleeper and now their sleep has gotten worse out of the blue, read Is it 'Just a Phase', a Sleep Regression or a New Habit?
Final Thoughts & Next Steps
The best time to sleep train is whenever you’re ready to commit to the process. No matter your child’s age, with the right strategy and support, children can learn to sleep independently!
Wondering if your baby is ready to start sleep training? Read Baby won’t sleep! 10 signs your baby is ready for sleep training
If you’re feeling stuck or unsure where to start, I can help! Book an evaluation call with me today to create a personalized sleep plan for your child and finally get the rest your family deserves!
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When To Start Sleep Training
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This post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you, your child and/or your personal situation. It shall not be construed as medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional medical treatment, advice, and/or diagnosis. Always check with your child’s physician or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.
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