9 Easy tips to enjoy your child's bedtime routine more
Does your child’s bedtime routine stress you out?
You have to put your child to bed every single night (barring the occasional babysitter) but you dread it? Maybe it takes so long that you're ready for bed by the end of the routine. Or it’s a power struggle with your child asking for one more ____. Or the tantrums just put you over the edge and you end up yelling. Or maybe it’s the little things that just bug you, but not enough to make changes. If you feel burnt out by the process and want to flip the switch on this daily event from being a chore to quality time with your child, here are some easy tricks to help you enjoy the bedtime routine process!
Remove certain bedtime books
Bedtime books are a part of every nighttime routine for kiddos. I always suggest making the rule of two books - from babyhood and beyond. Why? Because eventually, those 30-second board books will take 10-15 minutes EACH (did you know the average length of time to read The Velveteen Rabbit is 48 minutes?!) So if you have always had the rule of two books, then when your child is 3 and starts asking for more books, you can say, “We always read two books at bedtime.”
But what if one of those two books your child picks is one you really don’t like reading? It has an annoying storyline or it’s just boring?
👉 Just remove those books you dread reading from your child’s bookshelf!
Leave these books for someone that hasn’t yet gotten sick of reading them (like the sitter or grandma) if your child really likes reading them.
It’s also helpful to pre-pick four books and have your child choose which two to read. It’ll cut down the browsing at the bookshelf time and speed up the bedtime routine!
👉 Here’s a list of my favorite bedtime story board books! 📚
Tears getting in or out of the bath?
Some kiddos LOVE bath time…and will fight getting out every single night. But you don’t want the bath and the bedtime routine to last two hours, so ideally bath time is 5-7 minutes (with the entire bedtime routine lasting no more than 30 minutes).
Others aren’t fans of the bath and will fight getting IN…but your child needs one each night to wash off daycare germs, sand from the playground or leftover food in all the crevices.
Is bath time a source of contention?
👉 Move bath time to before the bedtime routine starts. If you have a sitter or nanny, this could be the last activity of her day to do with your child.
👉 If you’re always the one in charge of bath time, move it a little earlier to allow your child to stay in a little longer and perhaps reduce the tantrums getting out!
👉 Get a visual timer like this one that will show your child exactly how much time is left before they have to get out!
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Don’t let your child get overtired
When your child gets overtired, the crankiness will be at a level 10 (or 99!). At that point, I can almost guarantee the bedtime routine will be a struggle. She’ll be miserable and so will you!
If your child is under 6 months, her schedule will follow awake times. If your child is older and on a set nap schedule, you should also have a set bedtime.
👉 If you have a super special occasion (like a family gathering at a holiday) then pushing bedtime past the limit may be worth it to you knowing that the next 24 hours could be a little dicey sleep-wise (ie more tantrums, more night wakings, earlier wakeups, etc). But try not to put your child down later for errands or to attend a party where you want to enjoy yourself and stay out later and could have gotten a sitter to stay home with your child.
Make a bedtime routine chart
Does your child stall during the bedtime routine? Whatever you do, it just drags on with the one last hug, one last sip of water, one more book, I need to tell you one more thing…
👉 You need a physical bedtime routine chart.
Put all the important steps in for your preschooler - potty, bath, brush teeth, play time/1-1 time, read books, potty (going twice decreases nighttime accidents!) - and add in anything that you know your child will ask for. Just make sure that your bedtime routine isn’t 82 steps! Remember, the entire bedtime routine should be 30 minutes or less.
Don’t be the only one to do bedtime
Even if bedtime isn’t stressful for you, your child needs to know he can get ready for bed regardless of the person putting him to bed. Plus you deserve a break, otherwise, it may start to become something you no longer enjoy!
👉 If your spouse is home and available, trade off nights. Or if your spouse works late and/or travels during the week, then you do weekdays and they get weekends! If your spouse is never available (or doesn’t want to participate in the bedtime routine), try to schedule a sitter occasionally to take over bedtime duties so you can enjoy a night off with friends!
Roll play
It’s so hard if your child starts to flip out as soon as you say, “Time to go up for bed!” There are several reasons why a child fights starting the bedtime routine every night including:
they’re overtired which makes them extra cranky, especially when you’re asking them to do something they don’t want to do
they don’t feel like they have any control because you get to say when bedtime starts every night
they don’t know how to put themselves to sleep. They know at the end of the routine it’ll be hard unless you agree to [do something] to assist (like lying down with them) - if you need help teaching them to feel comfortable falling asleep without you essentially doing it for them, let’s chat.
👉 Try roll playing with your child putting a doll or toy to bed before you even start their bedtime routine. It can be a doll, a truck, or anything they want to use. They can use a little blanket or a burp cloth and mimic the tuck-in process you do for them upstairs in their room. Encourage them to say the same phrase you say at the end of the bedtime routine (ie it’s night nighttime, time to go to sleep). This allows them to be in charge and can help diffuse those power struggles once their bedtime routine starts! It should also be the last step before the bedtime routine starts so it helps with the transition to moving upstairs.
Use the paper plates
If you’re on your own doing bedtime, it probably means you’re also preparing dinner solo, trying to get your child to eat a decent meal, and cleaning up all on your own. Make dinner time as easy as possible for yourself.
👉 If you are thinking about dinner time clean up during the bedtime routine, you’re going to be distracted, annoyed, or rushed. (Especially if you’re like me and don’t like to leave a kitchen messy!) Get tips for doing bedtime solo here, including how to make dinner time easier!
Add in catch-up time
The bedtime routine should have elements that appeal to both you and your child.
Of course the main purpose is to have that consistency to get their body and brain to prepare for bed, but there also should be some connection too.
👉 Having a conversation about the day (or what’s happening the following day) is great way to connect.
Check out this blog post on The important step to include in your preschooler’s bedtime routine.
Turn your phone off
Nowadays, our phones are always on us, and we’re constantly getting notifications. When this happens during the bedtime routine, two things happen:
Your child notices that they don’t have your full attention and will start acting out to get it.
You may notice an important work email that you feel needs your attention, but it isn’t imperative to respond immediately…but you get distracted and dwell on it through the whole bedtime routine.
👉 Leave your phone on the kitchen counter during the bedtime routine (and turn off notifications on your smartwatch) so you can be fully present during the routine and not feel like you’re missing anything. Your child WILL notice that you’re not distracted!
How to make the bedtime routine easier
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This post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you, your child and/or your personal situation. It shall not be construed as medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional medical treatment, advice, and/or diagnosis. Always check with your child’s physician or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.
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