4 Factors That Contribute to Successful Sleep Training
I’ve been a baby and toddler sleep consultant for almost a decade and I now have this sixth sense for determining whether parents are going to be successful with sleep training or not, AND I even have a pretty good idea of how quickly they’ll start seeing progress.
It’s not really a sixth sense, but more that I’ve noticed patterns :)
Here’s are 4 factors that I’ve found help make the sleep training process go more quickly and smoothly:
Getting the “green light” from your pediatrician
If your child has any issue like reflux, not gaining weight according to the percentile curve, possible food intolerances/allergies, etc., it’s important to get those under control before starting sleep training.
Once you have any medical issues under control and your doctor says your child is ready to start sleep training, it takes away the worry that any crying during sleep training is due to something medical-related.
Having a medical professional who knows your child say that teaching your baby how to sleep so he can get the right amount of sleep for his age is the best thing for growth and development makes this process so much easier and I know that that has contributed to those moms and dads feeling better about the process.
Being on the same page with their spouse/caregivers
It’s great sign when both parents are on the initial evaluation call with me. In most cases, it shows that they are a team and ready to support each other, and in other cases, that the skeptical one is at least open to hearing about how I work with families.
The worst way to enter into the sleep training process is behind your partner’s back. I’ve actually shown up at 5pm for an overnight consultation and the husband answered the door and asked, “Who are you?” It was almost comical seeing how the conversation went from there! He ended up coming around, but it’s definitely not the ideal situation…
The best way to start sleep training is when both parents are partners in the process. They share the responsibilities and are really invested in this process together (bonus if they keep a sense of humor too!).
Have a spouse that is either not interested in being a part of the sleep training process or is working (or traveling for work) so much that it’s not really feasible to count on their help with bedtime and in the middle of the night? About 25% of my clients fall into that category and I’ll tell you that parents doing sleep training solo can ABSOLUTELY be successful, expecially if they’re doing #3 and #4 below. Plus if you’re working with a sleep consultant like me, you already have someone on your team to work with together!
Feeling confident with the plan
When I work with families, I get a whole history of information in the evaluation call and the questionnaire so I can write a sleep plan taking into consideration the temperament and age of the baby and the parents’ parenting style. Then during the consultation I often give a few options – all of which will work, some perhaps faster than others, but comfort level vs. speed of progress are very important to also take into consideration.
When a parent has helped shape the sleep plan with their input, they are more invested and more likely to follow through – especially at 2am when it can seem sooooo hard! – which is what can make or break this whole process!
At the end of the consultation call I always ask if they have any questions or concerns. Usually they’ll be addressed during the call, but I always want to make sure I’m leaving them in an excited state to start, not worried about something! Once any concerns are addressed in a way that makes sense and makes them comfortable they become 100% more invested and excited to start, which is EXACTLY what will help make sleep training go more smoothly!
Having a Positive Mindset
I am a big believer that your mindset shapes your experiences. If you go into something with a positive mindset, the outcome is more likely to be positive. This is especially true with sleep training.
Children can absolutely tell if you’re nervous or anxious about something, so if you go into Night 1 of sleep training that way, your child will feel it and know something’s not right.
I can think of three or four moms from the past several years where I just knew it wasn’t the right time to start sleep training. There was just a more negative vibe during the consultation, like they didn’t really want to do this but didn’t know what else to do. One mom, during the evaluation call, actually said, “I need to do this but I think you’re going to need to drag me through the process.” Umm. I kindly suggested that she spend some time re-evaluating things on her own before we could work together.
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Because the parents I work with are EXCITED to start. They know it’s likely going to be hard for a few days but they have their eye on the end goal: a child who sleeps through the night which in turn will help the rest of the family get a good night’s sleep too!
When you have (an air of) confidence, knowing that you’ve done your due diligence and gotten the ok from your pediatrician, you have the support of your spouse (or at least that they aren’t going to thwart your efforts!) and you just feel like the sleep training plan was made for your you and your child – it will work! That combination seems to be the “secret sauce” to a great sleep training experience.
Here’s a perfect example of this in action:
I started working with a mom of a 10 month old recently. This baby had NEVER fallen asleep independently, only while being held/fed to sleep. He was taking 20 minute naps and up every couple of hours for a bottle – almost as often as a newborn.
During the evaluation call, the mom said she’d tried everything, her husband didn’t think they needed a sleep consultant and that they were probably just “blessed” with a poor sleeping baby. After our conversation, she saw how perhaps she hadn’t tried everything (or at least implemented certain strategies correctly) and wanted to give it a try working with me.
As we finalized the plan together during the consultation, she said it all made so much more sense to have a cohensive plan and support. That was her missing link before – she was trying to piece together a plan from books and friends that wasn’t made for her exact situation and her child’s temperament. Because she understood the plan and felt comfortable with the plan, she actually ended the call saying, “I’m much more excited to start Night 1 tonight than I thought I would be. I’m still a little nervous, but I’m going to push that aside because I know that this is the right thing to do for my son, and this is the right time to do it because his sleep is just getting worse!”
And you know what, Night 1 wasn’t as bad as she thought it was going to be. And then he had his longest nap of his life – in his crib – on day 3. And by night 6, he was sleeping in his crib all night, having fallen asleep on his own.
During our final follow-up call, she said she had the epiphany that SHE was the reason her previous attempts hadn’t worked. She didn’t think they’d work and so they didn’t. This was about her mindset, but #2 and #3 also played a part for her too.
So, if you’re like this mom and feel like you’ve tried everything and nothing’s worked, I invite you to schedule a chat with me. We can get your little one sleeping through the night and taking longer naps, but only if you believe that the process can work and that I’m going to give you expert advice and support you along the way!
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This post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you, your child and/or your personal situation. It shall not be construed as medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional medical treatment, advice, and/or diagnosis. Always check with your child’s physician or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.