Why do babies fight sleep?

It’s time for your baby to go to sleep, but he’s not having it! Maybe he’s crying or fussing or just staring blankly….anything BUT settling down for sleep! Why do babies fight sleep and what are some things you can do to help them fall asleep more easily?

Why does your baby fight falling asleep?

There are two things you need to check off the list before you even think of putting your baby down to sleep: baby is not hungry and has a clean diaper.

If your baby is going to bed close to a feed (or the next feed time will land in the middle of the next nap), make sure you’re offering that feed (keeping baby awake 100%!), then read a story and into the crib. By reading a story after the feed, you won’t be reinforcing a feed-sleep association.

If you do end up feeding baby before the nap, the very last step should be checking that the diaper is still clean!

Once you’ve checked off those basic needs, here are some reasons why your baby is fighting sleep:

1. Overtired
   This is one of the biggest reasons why babies have trouble falling asleep. When they get overtired, you’ve missed that optimal window to put them down easily and they get wired!

2. Under-tired
   If you put baby down for naptime or bedtime too soon and they’re just not tired enough to fall asleep, it won’t happen…at least not quickly!

3. Lacking a routine
   If you’ve been out and about at a baby class, playing at the park, or just doing errands and you rush home before naptime, your baby may not have had enough time to wind down!

4. Separation anxiety
   Beginning around 6 months, your baby realizes you’re really fun to hang out with…and wants to be with you all the time!

5. Illness
   If your little one is getting an earache or has a tummy ache (or some other malady), it’ll be really hard to get into a comfortable position and sleep.

6. Quick snooze
   Did your baby get a power nap in the car or stroller in between naps or between the last nap and bedtime? That little snooze will make the next sleep harder.
   
   Need help keeping baby awake in the car? Check out How to keep your baby awake in the car so it doesn’t mess up naps!
   

How to help your baby to stop fighting sleep

1. Have the right routine
   For naptime, the routine should be 3-5 minutes and bedtime is 30 minutes maximum.
   
   For naps, the routine is just changing the diaper and into sleep clothes/sleep sack, reading a story, turning on the white noise and into the crib.
   
   For bedtime, you’ll do bath, feed, stories, turn on white noise and into the crib. Remember that during feeds, your baby needs to stay 100% awake. If your baby is hanging on to a feed-sleep association (ie liking to get drowsy with milk) they’ll continue to fight sleep because they want you to get them into that “milk coma” first. 😉
   
   The routine should be relaxed and calming, but doesn’t make your baby drowsy. Especially if you’re running home from errands and needing to get baby down for a nap to stay on track, be sure to slow down so your baby has that transition time from go-go-go to calming down for sleep.
   

2. Keep a sleep log
   You may be using the correct awake time for most babies your child’s age…but maybe your baby needs a little tweak with the times.
   
   Keeping a sleep log, you can push awake time 10-15 minutes longer or shorter and see how that affects your baby’s ability to fall asleep faster.
   

3. Transition to a set nap schedule
   If your baby is under 6-7 months, you’re going by awake times between sleeps. Once baby is 6-7 months, you’ll transition to a 2 nap schedule.
   

4. Environment
   The room should be dark. Even with “blackout shades”, you can still see light around the perimeter so try to make it 10/10 dark.
   
   Use white noise set between the crib and where the most noise will be coming from during naptime or overnight. You can download a free decibel meter app to make sure it’s at 50 or under for the safety of baby’s ears.
   
   The temperature in the room should ideally be 68-70 F. Always check your baby’s core or back of the neck and if they’re sweaty, then it’s either too warm in the room or baby has too many layers.
   

5. Have a plan
   If you’ve optimized the room, routine and schedule and baby’s still fighting sleep, it’s most likely because she’s still depending on something (rocking, feeding, pacifier, motion, etc) to get to drowsy (or asleep).
   
   You’ll need a plan to teach her how to learn how to fall asleep with YOU doing the work for her! If you need guidance on what that looks like so you get the fastest results possible, tailored to your child’s temperament and your parenting style, click here!

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This post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you, your child and/or your personal situation. It shall not be construed as medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional medical treatment, advice, and/or diagnosis. Always check with your child’s physician or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.

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