Baby won’t sleep! 10 signs your baby is ready for sleep training
Are you feeling exhausted because your baby won't sleep? Do you drive around or walk with the stroller for an hour to get baby to sleep for naps? Are you rocking, feeding, or bouncing baby to sleep at bedtime? Do things in the sleep dept seem to be spiraling out of control…or worse, you’re getting used to this constant state of sleep deprivation? It might be time to consider if your little one is ready for sleep training. Recognizing the signs that it’s the right time can make the process smoother for both you and your baby. Here are some signs to look for that your baby is ready for sleep training.
But first, this is important…
You DON’T have to night wean to start sleep training!
You can still teach your baby how to fall asleep independently and keep a night feed in.
Sleep training will help break the feed-sleep association so your baby learns that milk is for nutrition, not to get to sleep! 🙌
If you’re looking for those elusive 11-12 hours of continuous night sleep, that will happen when baby is able to consolidate feeds into the 12 hours of daytime and the night feed is dropped. This is something I teach my clients how to determine so it’s a baby-led decision and you can feel confident that baby really IS ready to drop the night feeds!
Signs that your baby is ready for sleep training
#1 Bare minimum to start sleep training
Your baby is at least 3-4 months old, has no unresolved health issues, and your pediatrician has given the green light to start.
#2 Baby is looking for you to [blank] in the middle of the night
Is your baby waking up in the middle of the night looking for YOU to get her back to sleep?
She needs you to pop the pacifier back in…
She uses you as a human pacifier to nurse for a minute and then is drowsy enough to fall back asleep (or that puts her fully back to sleep)…
She drinks a 1/2 ounce of the bottle and then back to sleep…
Just needs you to pick her up and hold or bounce for a minute and then she’s back to sleep…
She’s getting smart enough to know that you can get her back to sleep faster than she can do it herself, so she’s letting you do the heavy lifting!
#3 Baby is fussy during the bedtime routine
He’s starting to understand the steps of the bedtime routine, and gets fussy as soon as you put on the sleep sack or lays him in the crib.
When babies get fussy during the routine (and they’re not overtired), it’s because they know what’s happening - they’re expected to sleep soon! - and they don’t know how to get themselves to sleep on their own.
#4 Baby has slept through the night once
If a baby can sleep all night once, you know they have the capacity to do it again!
Here’s where it gets tricky…
Some books will lead you to believe that a baby sleeping 7-8 hours is sleeping through the night.
That’s a hard no from me.
Even if they sleep 9-10 hours, that’s AMAZING! But it’s not a full night of sleep for a baby.
Babies need closer to 11-12 hours overnight. So be careful how you define “sleeping through the night”.
There are so many pieces to successfully sleep training - Download your free PDF and get weekly sleep tips to help set you up for success!
#5 You’re understanding the different cries
If you’re able to differentiate between the “I’m hungry” cry, the “I’m tired cry”, the “I’m in pain” cry and the “I’m bored or frustrated” cry, it’ll be easier to start sleep training.
#6 Sleep props aren’t working as well
You used to be able to rock your baby for two minutes and could easily put her in the crib for sleep…and now it takes 30-45 minutes of rocking (and then it often results in a shorter nap or waking sooner for a night waking).
Or if you try to feed baby to sleep, you still have a wide-eyed baby looking up at you at the end of the feed. Except now it’s 20 minutes later and your baby is getting overtired…
#7 Sleep props are frustrating your baby
The techniques that used to work so well, don’t seem to have the same effect anymore.
Your baby is getting frustrated with the rocking or bouncing, fighting it as she tries to get into a comfortable position.
It’s like she knows you’re trying to get her to sleep, but wants to do it on her own and just doesn’t know how.
#8 Baby is waking more frequently
Is your baby starting to wake up more frequently in the middle of the night? Or each wakeup is getting longer to get baby back to sleep?
He wants you to recreate how he originally fell asleep every time he wakes up (because he doesn’t yet have the skills to self-soothe back to sleep), but he’s getting tired (pun intended!) of needing you to put him back to sleep.
#9 There are signs of self-soothing
If your baby wakes up early from a nap, early in the morning or in the middle of the night (so at a time when baby is still tired and could have slept longer), she attempts to self-soothe by sucking on her fingers.
You may also notice she has more stamina to play independently during play time on the floor!
#10 Your normal is getting out of control
A constant state of exhaustion is your “normal”…and it’s actually getting worse?
Do you feel like you’re up more often for night wakings and you’re both are getting less sleep overnight (if that’s possible!)?
Short naps are getting shorter?
Your baby - who sometimes slept in the crib or stroller - now refuses to sleep unless you’re holding him?
If YOU are at your breaking point, and more sleep would help your mental health (and you meet the minimums of #1), that’s a sign that you should start sleep training 💖
If your baby won't sleep and you're considering sleep training, as long as #1 is true, experiencing one or all of the other 9 signs indicates that your baby is ready to start sleep training. Remember, you can do sleep training before your baby is ready to night wean! Don't let sleepless nights overwhelm you - reach out to see how I can make the sleep training process quicker and easier for your baby!
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This post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you, your child and/or your personal situation. It shall not be construed as medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional medical treatment, advice, and/or diagnosis. Always check with your child’s physician or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.