8 Reasons Why Your Baby Isn’t Sleeping Through the Night
Your baby can’t fall asleep easily. You don’t know if it’s temporary or something you need to nudge back in the right direction! Is your baby over 4 months and you wonder why she won’t sleep without being held or can’t seem to sleep without you? This blog post covers 8 reasons why your baby is having trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, and sleeping through the night!
Reasons Why Your Baby Can’t Fall Asleep Easily and Sleep Through the Night
#1 Baby can’t sleep due to illness or discomfort
The first thing to rule out when your child is having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep is an illness (ear infection, cold, reflux, etc) or a temporary discomfort (teething, tummy ache, dirty diapers, etc).
Think your baby has reflux? This reel includes some signs to look for and discuss with your pediatrician.
If you suspect your little one has any illness, always consult with your pediatrician to rule out something medical that could be the root issue of poor sleep.
If your little one is teething, I have a blog post Teething and Sleep: Understanding the Impact on Your Baby's Naps and Bedtime that details how teething can affect sleep and tips to help that teething pain.
If your child is waking up too soon because of a dirty diaper, read this: What to do when pooping affects your child’s sleep!
#2 Baby wants to sleep on tummy
The reason it’s recommended to place babies on their backs to sleep is to decrease the risk of SIDS - Babies seem to sleep more deeply on their tummies and may not rouse themselves if needed. But once they’re able to roll onto their stomach themselves, experts say they are strong enough and more aware to be able to wake themselves up if they’re not adequately able to breathe.
To help make your baby feel more comfortable sleeping on his back, use a swaddle blanket, velcro swaddle, or sleep sack with flaps before he starts rolling.
Once he starts rolling, transition to a sleep sack without flaps. If that jump is too big for your baby, try a transition swaddle temporarily.
If you want more information about what to do in preparation for having your baby sleep on their stomach and what you DON’T want to use to help babies sleep in a certain position, read Tummy sleep: when is ok for babies to sleep on their stomach.
#3 Baby is relying on sleep props to fall asleep
This is one of the primary reasons parents consult with me - their little one only wants to be fed to sleep, rocked to sleep, or sleeps best with motion in the swing, car seat, or stroller.
The key to having a baby that can fall asleep quickly and easily and sleep through the night (when they’re developmentally ready to do so) is that they don’t have reliance on you doing something to get them to sleep (or to drowsy). If they do need that bottle, pacifier, or a quick trip in the car to drift off to sleep, then every time they need to fall asleep for bedtime or a nap, wake from a short nap, or wake up in the middle of the night, they’re going to need you to do that every single time.
That’s what sleep training teaches - how to respond appropriately to your baby so they learn how to self-soothe to sleep independently.
For example, you learn that you don’t have to always feed them back to sleep in the middle of the night when they’re not really hungry - they’re just tired, and can’t get themselves back to sleep without eating (and using you as a human pacifier).
If you need help with getting rid of sleep props so your baby isn’t relying on YOU to feed, rock, pop the paci back in, etc., and instead learns how to self-soothe to sleep faster and more easily on her own, try this.
And a note on dream feeds. If you’re still offering one, you’ll want to read Dream feeds – do they really work?
#4 Baby is on the wrong schedule
Think of two buckets for sleep - a day bucket and a night bucket. Using the amounts in the blog post above, if your baby gets too much day sleep, it’ll affect night sleep, and vice versa. When day and night sleep are balanced appropriately for your baby’s age, it’s much easier to fall asleep easily and stay asleep.
In the the blog Understanding sleep cycles and short naps for babies, I outline how much nap time your baby should be getting - the number of naps and amount of nap sleep per day - by age.
If you suspect your little one is getting too much day sleep, take a look at this post When to wake a sleeping baby from a long nap.
#5 Baby needs a different, more consistent sleep routine
Having a consistent, reliable bedtime routine is one of the more underrated components of good sleep. It serves as a cue that the next nap or bedtime is coming and prepares their little bodies to more easily fall asleep.
I don’t know about you, but I have a pretty consistent bedtime routine as an adult - always check door locks downstairs and make sure the dishes are done before heading up to the bathroom to do my skincare routine, brush my teeth, and say good night to my son. Then I arrange pillows and pull out the Kindle for a few minutes of reading. I do that every night and if I don’t, it feels a bit off.
When you do the same routine with your child every single night, it helps make falling asleep at bedtime easier because you’re priming them for sleep with the calming routine.
For babies, starting with a bath is a great first step in the bedtime routine because it’s different than any other experience in their day and shows this isn’t a nap - it’s the night sleep you’re getting ready for. Then feed your baby (for those under one year old) and make sure baby isn’t getting drowsy with the feed! Then some books and into the crib awake.
For toddlers, you’d remove the feed and add in some play time (without technology!). The first step of the routine may need a bedtime snack. If you need tips and inspiration, read Best bedtime snacks for kids.
Just remember: make sure your child isn’t falling asleep or getting drowsy in the routine, the routine isn’t more than 30 minutes long and you haven’t included technology in the routine.
There are so many pieces to successfully sleep training - Download your free PDF and get weekly sleep tips to help set you up for success!
#6 Baby is wired and overtired and can’t fall asleep
The goal is to put your little one down for a nap or bedtime when they’re tired and ready for sleep and not overtired and wired. Once they pass that point, they get that rush of adrenaline and that second wind will make it much harder to get them to settle down for sleep!
Being overtired not only makes it harder to fall asleep but will increase the likelihood of night wakings and early wakeups.
Some signs that your baby is just the right amount of tired to be able to fall asleep easily:
Yawning
Rubbing eyes
Staring off into space
Not interacting - with you or toys
Some signs that your baby is overtired and you missed that window of opportunity:
Extremely fussy
Hard to console
Gets frustrated more easily
Not interested in a bottle or breastfeeding
For babies under 6 months, you’ll go by awake times in between sleeps:
4 month olds: 1.5-1.75 hours
5 month olds: 2-2.5 hours
For babies on two naps, a sample schedule could look like this:
7am Wake up
9:30am Nap 1
2:00pm Nap 2
6:30pm Bedtime routine
7:00pm In bed
#7 Baby is going through a nap transition
Some signs that your baby is ready for a nap transition include when he’s:
fighting falling asleep at naptime - usually for the last nap of the day, but can be for any of them
taking a long time to settle and fall asleep at bedtime
having middle-of-the-night wakings - either starting to have them or having an increase in number or duration
waking up too early in the morning
When you drop a nap, it can take 4-6 weeks for your baby to acclimate to the new schedule, so he may get a little overtired in the process. You can adjust the timing of bedtime earlier by no more than 15-30 minutes as your baby gets used to the new timing.
#8 Baby is going through a sleep regression
If your child has been pretty consistent with sleep and sleeping the right amount of sleep for her age and then all of a sudden has more difficulty falling asleep and sleeping long enough for naps and overnight, then your baby is likely in a sleep regression!
Causes often include a rapid change in growth and development - mental, physical and/or emotional.
A regression should only last about 2 weeks (up to 4 weeks for older toddlers). If it’s going on longer than that, your baby is past the regression and now has developed a bad habit.
The regression I get the most questions about is the 4-month regression. I have a separate blog post talking all about that one: 4 month sleep regression - is it real and what can you do about it?
This post Baby and Toddler Separation Anxiety: Signs, Triggers, and Strategies details the common ages for babies to have separation anxiety which often coincides with sleep regressions around 6-8 months, 9-10 months, and 12-14 months.
The regression at 18 months is due to the explosion of language skills, learning cause and effect (when I cry at this pitch, mom comes running!), and starting that fun age of pushing boundaries, especially around protesting sleep.
Around the second birthday, many of the issues from the 18-month regression are still in effect, and added to those is the introduction of legitimate stalling techniques!
If you’re struggling because your child is past the regression and now has formed some habits you don’t know how to break or you just can’t get rid of sleep props and stop feeding your baby to drowsy or asleep, schedule a call. Making the decision to start sleep training is often harder than the actual process, especially when you have a solid plan and the support to guide you through!
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This post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you, your child and/or your personal situation. It shall not be construed as medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional medical treatment, advice, and/or diagnosis. Always check with your child’s physician or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.