Or have you perched precariously over your baby’s crib so your cheek was right over his mouth and you could feel those little breaths?

Or maybe you decided to just hunker down and sleep in the glider once you decided to transition your baby to the crib, just to keep a close eye on him…

Come on…fess up! We’ve ALL done it!

I know I was guilty of at least two of those when my guys were little. SIDS is always in the back of your mind when you have a new baby…you’re the mama (or papa) bear and must protect baby!

I also know that when a baby who has never slept alone in the crib (perhaps preferring to sleep on your shoulder all night??) starts sleeping 11-12 hours, parents feel the need to go in every 15 minutes to make sure he’s still alive!  I get that…this is a weird and alternate universe where your child is sleeping WAY longer than he used to!

[Just last week one the moms I'm working with was laughing when she realized how ironic it was that she hired me to get her baby to sleep longer periods in her crib...and now she was poking her baby to wake up! Ha!]

Well tired parents, I have found a great NEW product that can help ease these fears!

Over the past couple of months, I’ve gotten to know the co-founder of SafeToSleep, Ryan Santangelo, and after doing a seminar together in Chicago, I asked him some of the most often asked questions I get from families:

What exactly is the SafeToSleep Baby Monitor?

We feel the SafeToSleep baby monitor is one of the greatest infant sleep safety products ever invented. It is designed to keep babies safe by monitoring their breathing during sleep. And it works! We get calls every week from parents that tell us their SafeToSleep may have saved their baby’s life.

The SafeToSleep is the first baby monitor that can monitor the breathing of your sleeping baby and alert you if your baby is experiencing a breathing problem. The baby lies directly on the SleepMat, which is a soft sleep surface that uses advanced fiber optic technology to detect the baby’s breathing. Parents monitor their baby’s breathing directly from their smartphone or tablet using the free SafeToSleep application. The product also comes with a Parent Unit for those parents who do not have smartphones.

What makes your product different from others on the market?

The SafeToSleep monitor is the first in a new category of baby monitor called Breathing Monitors. Up until now, there were three traditional categories of baby monitors, which included (1) audio monitors, (2) video monitors, and (3) movement. These monitors are all based on technology that is over 20 years old and not designed to monitor the breathing of a sleeping baby.

With this in mind, there are five key differences that really set SafeToSleep apart from all other products on the market:

1. SafeToSleep can monitor the breath rate of a baby in real time. Until today, the ability to monitor baby breathing was a feature only found in hospital monitors.  For the first time, parents can monitor their babies just like they do in the hospital, with the accuracy of a hospital monitor.
2. SafeToSleep is an active monitoring system, which means the system will alert you if your baby needs attention. Other monitors require the parent to be monitoring the monitor at the precise time the baby is in trouble. The SafeToSleep will let you know when you are needed; even if it’s in the middle of the night.
3. SafeToSleep can alert you of a breathing problem BEFORE your baby stops breathing. Babies normally breathe at between 30-60 breaths per minute (BPM). If breathing slows to less than 10 BPM or increases to over 80 BPM, our system will notify the parent. No other system on the market can do this.
4. SafeToSleep has the intelligence to know if your baby is awake or sleeping. The system tracks this information and provides sleep time and sleep quality reports. There is no system on the market that can do this. In fact, most hospital monitors do not even provide this level of sophistication.
5. Finally, SafeToSleep is the only monitor that has been hospital tested and clinically validated to be as accurate as the wired cardio-respiratory monitors used in hospitals around the world.

How durable is it?

The SleepMat is incredibly durable! We’ve jumped on it. We’ve rolled over it with a chair. We’ve hit it with a baseball bat. We’ve even driven over it with a car! [I've seen pictures of this. It's no joke!] The SleepMat survived every test and continued to work perfectly!

How long will the product last? In terms of quality and battery life…

The monitor is powered by 4 AAA batteries, which will last for about 30 days of continuous use. The batteries allow the monitor to be portable, so you can take it wherever your baby sleeps (e.g., grandma’s house, day care center, camping, etc.) Also, there are no cords or wires that could put your baby at risk for entanglement or strangulation.

How do you use it with an ipad/phone?

It is very easy and very intuitive. All you have to do is download the SafeToSleep app from the App Store (for Apple devices) or Google Play (for Android devices). The app works on any Apple or Android device. Once installed, the app will connect your smartphone to the SleepMat and you’ll instantly be monitoring your baby.

How did you come up with the idea for SafeToSleep?

My brother, Pete, and I were very young when a family we knew suffered a SIDS death. I think that once you are touched by SIDS, it stays with you forever.

Flash forward 30 years. Pete and I are working together as technology entrepreneurs where we have founded two successful tech startups that have grown national in scope. With the SIDS experience still in our minds, we decided to focus our energy and resources on what turned into a three-year global development project designed to protect babies from unexpected infant death. It was from that effort that the SafeToSleep monitor was born. The monitor allows parents, for the first time, to actively monitor their baby’s breath rate and be alerted if there is a breathing problem.

Shortly after the product launched in February 2013, we began to receive calls from parents telling us how the SafeToSleep system saved their baby by alerting them when their baby stopped breathing. The monitor has also helped parents discover physical breathing obstructions that may have never been found otherwise. We believe that this technology will be seen as one of history’s greatest contributions to infant sleep safety. We believe that that this product will be as important for infant sleep safety as the car seat has been for infant travel safety.

My Thoughts…

If these had been around when my kiddos were babies, it would’ve given me more peace of mind, and I would’ve done a lot less poking! It feels like a second set of (rational) eyes watching your baby! It isn’t subjective–either your baby is breathing well, or he isn’t. There really isn’t a gray area with this. And the fact that you know if his breathing has slowed to a dangerous level OR he’s hyperventilating is truly amazing.

And putting on my sleep consultant cap for a moment, having the ability to know exactly when your baby fell asleep and woke up is an awesome feature. I always have my clients log sleep time and how long it takes a baby to fall asleep…and this takes the (guess) work out of it! (Especially helpful for babies in daycare!)

If you would like to connect with SafeToSleep, find them on Facebook.

Disclaimer: I do not work for SafeToSleep, nor am I getting any compensation for writing this post.  I just like sharing info on companies that I believe are helping parents be better parents!

The first time it happened, did you sit straight up in bed like there was a fire alarm going off and start flapping your arms, waking your spouse, trying to find your glasses on the night stand to see what time it was and then running in to your child’s room in a panic thinking someone was clearly in your house?

Or maybe you just slowly opened your eyes and mumbled some choice words, knowing your child was up…when he should be sleeping.

These were the reactions two moms recently told me about when they had this experience. Each mom was frustrated and confused because their children had been GREAT sleepers before.

They wondered WHY this was happening. Out of nowhere! And more importantly, one mom asked, how do we get back to normal??

So I’ve compiled a list of the four reasons I see most often in this situation. #1 and #2 will work themselves out in time, #3 and #4 will require some monitoring on your part:

1. Teething
Babies can’t talk and tell us they would prefer the plums to the peas or a longer bath, followed by a massage.  And when they’re cutting new teeth, they won’t be sending you a memo either! Some signs that a baby is starting to cut a new tooth:

• drooling
• swollen gums
• biting or gnawing on everything–bottles, fingers, toys, etc.
• fussy/irritable
• not eating well
• rubbing face/mouth
• grabbing ears
• waking in the middle of the night and/or short naps…DING DING DING

Fever and diarrhea are also ones many believe come with the territory, but if those persist for more than 24 hours, it’s best to check in with your pediatrician.

The first tooth will come anywhere between 4-12 months, and then your child will get a new tooth or two every couple of months (at least), so talk with your pediatrician to see what he/she recommends to keep your child comfortable!

2. Milestones
Has your baby recently learned how to roll and is FASCINATED by the process? Or maybe he’s starting to pull up on the coffee table and feels like he’s conquered Mt Everest each and every time? Especially with sitting and standing, many babies can’t figure out how to get back down, so even if they’re tired, they can’t get back into the sleeping position!

Until they master this new skill, help them out of corners in the crib if they can’t roll back out, lie them back down if they seem stuck, give them lots of practice outside of naptime to practice…and be patient! It can take a couple of weeks and then your baby will be a superstar with this new skill…and it’ll become old news, so he won’t need to practice 24 hours a day!

3. Sickness/Discomfort
Kids seem to get sick so quickly! One minute you’re playing outside or taking a leisurely walk down the sidewalk with a perfectly healthy baby and next thing you know, she’s sneezing and all clogged up and looking miserable! If that’s the case, you know you’re in for a couple of rough nights until she can breathe better. I highly recommend the NoseFrida aka Snot Sucker, saline spray to thin the mucus in the nose and a humidifier.

But if there are no outward signs, but you have that mommy intuition that something just isn’t right, it could be a tummy ache or a food sensitivity. Keep a log of foods your baby is eating and when you see signs that that food may not be sitting well and talk with your pediatrician to see if follow up with a specialist is recommended.

4. Temperature
In the last week, Chicago has experienced a 50° difference in temperature–it was in the 30s last week and we were bundled up like the Michelin Man and today it’s 80° and I scrambled this morning to find flip flops and shorts that would fit the boys (clearly I wasn’t prepared for hot just yet!).

With such big swings in temperature and as we adjust to new seasons, it’s important to be mindful of the temps in the bedrooms and what pjs our kids are choosing. I’m guilty of overdressing everyone, probably because I’m not on weather.com constantly and the weather in Chicago can change in a flash!

For optimal sleeping, bedrooms should be in the 68-70° range. A good indicator of whether your little one is too warm is to feel the back of his neck. If it’s sweaty, drop the temp and/or take a layer of clothing off of him.

During the transitions in Spring and Fall, make sure that your child is choosing appropriate pjs, remember to change the flannel sheets out for normal cotton ones, and it’s a great idea to keep a thermometer in the bedrooms to keep tabs on the temp, especially with the door closed.  Often parents shut their children’s doors but leave theirs open, and the temperatures between the two rooms can be significant.

Of course, today I’m more focused on being too warm, but if a child gets too cold, that will affect sleep as well. We’ll have that conversation in about 5 months!

This is by no means an exhaustive list…just the ones I see most often! Assuming your child has some great sleep skills prior, once the teething or milestones pass or your little one gets well (or changes diet) and the temp in the bedroom is just right, sleep will once again rule the roost!

Have you experienced one of these, or was the culprit something that didn’t make the Top 4? I’d love to know in the comments below!!

Let’s face it, overtiredness makes a person grumpy. And slightly crazy! Especially when something you used to have (sleep) is now GONE!  And then with the grumpiness comes despair. Things will NEVER change [insert whiny voice]. Yup, I was the depressive drama queen way back when. Maybe you can relate…

BUT, what if you knew WHY your little one was waking up in the middle of the night so you could remedy the situation?

Welcome back, happy person!

I’m a huge believer that knowledge is power, and in this case, knowing what is causing your baby to wake up is the key to changing the behavior. So here I’ve compiled the top 6 reasons why babies will continually wake up at night:

 #1 Sleep Props
If your baby needs you to do something to get her to sleep (feed her to sleep, rock her to sleep, shhh until you’re feeling light-headed), that’s a sleep prop.  Most parents who are relying on sleep props find that the stars have to align perfectly for baby to fall asleep AND stay asleep once baby is put into the crib. You may even have a ritual…wait exactly 4.5 minutes after baby falls asleep, slowly walk from chair to crib, gently lower baby into the crib like a slow moving elevator, take one hand out and place on baby’s tummy, take other hand out…and DROP to the floor and army crawl out. Sound familiar? I promise I don’t have a secret camera in your nursery, but these scenarios are pretty common!

If this is the reason your child is waking up, my best advice is to put baby in the crib awake.

#2 Overtiredness
Have you ever been so tired that you couldn’t actually fall asleep? You snuggle into bed, the kiddos are all asleep…but your mind and your body won’t settle down? When that happens, overtiredness is likely the culprit.  When babies get overtired, they can’t fall asleep either, but because they can’t talk, you may assume they’re hungry or uncomfortable.

The best way to conquer the overtiredness problem is to prevent it! Make sure your little one isn’t staying awake too long in between sleeps.

#3 Hunger
This one can be tricky. There are pediatricians who look at weight and growth to determine when baby will be able to go all night without a feeding, and others go by age. That’s something you need to discuss with your doctor. I will say that a baby over 5-6 months, who was not premature and is a healthy weight, can sleep through the night as long as you ensure he’s getting enough to eat during the day. Truth be told, I’ve seen babies much younger sleep through too, but it all comes down to weight, age and health as well as his breastmilk and/or formula intake during the day.

One way to determine if hunger is the primary reason is to look whether your baby is having a full feed for the night wakeups. If your child is only having a couple of ounces for each night feed, he’s snacking and needing that bottle to get him back to drowsy (or sleep). If it’s a full feed and he’s getting enough ounces during the day, but he’s a healthy weight and age, it is likely a habit.

Another thing to look at is the timing of the night wakeups. Is your baby waking once, eating and then sleeping the rest of the night? Then your little one is needing that bottle. If he’s waking up at different times during the night or the duration of the wakeups vary, then he’s likely waking because it’s a sleep prop and not for the nutrition.

#4 Temperature
I get to meet lots of families and often visit their homes for the consultation and nursery assessment. One thing that I look at is the temperature of the nursery with the door shut and what the baby will be wearing to sleep. If a baby is wearing too many layers or very heavy layers, he can become overheated which will (and should!) wake him up.  Besides interrupting consolidated sleep, being too warm at night is also related to SIDS.  A good way to check if your baby is too warm is to feel the back of his neck, which is often a better indicator than feet and hands. If he’s sweaty on his neck, remove a layer.

You’ll have to assess what the right temperature is for your nursery, taking into account the second layer of a sleep sack (cotton or fleece), swaddle and/or a blanket.  Cooler temperatures are better for sleep and in general, 68-70° is a great temperature for sleeping.

#5 Sound
Does your neighbor let out the dog at 10pm every night for one last bathroom break and forget he’s out there? Does your child wake up easily with thunder storms? Do you get up for work early and have loud plumbing or creaky floors?

If you find a correlation with the sounds and wakeups (for example, the garbage truck at 5am on Mondays), then investing in a white noise machine will be helpful. Of course if your child is waking up at 5am every day (and the garbage truck is only on your street on Mondays), then you’ll have to look at other reasons from this list.

#6 Diaper Issues
Does your baby often leak through her pajamas or have dirty diapers shortly after bedtime? Babies who are getting several night time bottles or feeds will naturally be wetter (more in, more out!), but there are some things you can do.

Make sure you’re using high quality, overnight diapers. You may also want to look at those nifty baby products called diaper doublers (no doubt invented by a mom) to increase the capacity of the diaper. These come in both disposable and cloth versions. You can also look at the timing of the last feed to see if that is affecting when your little one is in need of a new diaper.

The great news is that once the night feed(s) are eliminated, the soaking wet diapers often go away too!

These 6 reasons are the ones I see most often with my client families when a baby is consistently waking up each night. Of course an underlying medical issue can cause babies to wake up regularly as well. If you have concerns that the night wakings may have a medical component, it’s best to make an appointment with your pediatrician!

Stay tuned for next Tuesday’s post with reasons why your child is waking up now even though he’s been sleeping through the night for a while!

I’m a big fan of a dark room for a couple of reasons:

1. When a room is more light during the day at nap time, it’s pretty distracting.  Light is naturally stimulating, so best to keep that to a minimum. Most kids’ rooms have books and toys, maybe a train table, etc. and seeing those around can be enough to keep your little one up.   The goal is to encourage a calm and stimulus-free environment.

2. With the Daylight Savings, it will still be light out at bedtime and be brighter earlier in the morning.  To help settle your child at night, it’s important to create a dark environment which will encourage the natural melatonin production to make your child sleepy.  And with the bright mornings, seeing light too early will jump start the cortisol production and reset the body to start waking up earlier.  With the birds.  You don’t want that!

So to help you create this optimal sleep environment, here are some tips to consider:

#1 Shades
There are so many options to cover windows! My favorite are the blackout honeycomb shades because they also help to insulate–keeping it cooler in the summer (if you keep them down during the day!) and trapping the heat in during the winter. Be sure to have them inside-mounted (to help with perimeter light).  And if you have two connected windows, consider getting one large shade to eliminate that line of light down the middle.

FreeDigitalPhotos.net | FrameAngel

#2 Curtains
I have yet to see a set of black out curtains that can be used without a shade underneath, and still make it super dark. (If you’ve found one that works, let me know!) Most windows will require the shade to blackout the light and curtain panels to address the perimeter. This is especially important if your child’s bed or crib is on the same wall as the window and you have the shades mounted on the outside of the frame…light will shine in your child’s eyes every morning!

#3 Nightlights
If you’re still feeding your child in the middle of the night, or your child sometimes uses the bathroom after bedtime or early in the morning, you may want a nightlight in the room. My advice is to get a low wattage bulb and diffuse the light by putting it behind a piece of furniture. You don’t want bright light shining into your child’s eyes when she’s trying to fall asleep!

I just finished working with two families that interestingly had glass doors on their child’s bedroom door. If you happen to have a similar situation, I would recommend finding some blinds or shades that are fixed at the bottom and top, so it doesn’t swish when you open and close the door!

Have you found a great product that helps with room darkening? Please let me know in the comments–I would love to hear from you!

Most parents want to put a stop to these middle of the night visits quickly because, let’s face it, it’s much harder to function without a good night sleep! But there may be some out there who aren’t bothered by them right now. (I’m guessing you drink a lot of caffeine…) It’s important to remember that your child has to wake fully to be able to get out of bed, walk down the hall and climb in your bed. (Unless your child is sleep walking, but that’s a story for another day…) These wanderings are interfering not only with your child’s consolidated sleep, but yours as well. And consolidated sleep is necessary for growth, development, learning, behavior…oh, the list would go on for days!

So if you’re experiencing nightly visits from your child, there’s likely a reason…and knowing what that is will help squelch these nocturnal wanderings! Take a look and see which of these fit your situation:

# 1. Transitioned too early from crib
If you moved your child out of the crib before age 3, your child was likely not yet ready for the amount of freedom you bestowed on him…and is now taking advantage of his increased independence! If your child is closer to 2, it’s best to pull that crib out of storage (or if you used his crib for your new baby, give him back the crib and have baby in a bassinet or pack n play…or purchase a second crib).

I’ve worked with so many families in this situation…trust me, it’s much easier to bring the crib back than to modify a 2 year old’s wandering tendencies!

# 2. Loneliness
If your child is used to co-sleeping and now is in his own room, or you moved to a bigger place and he isn’t sharing a room with a sibling, chances are good that he’s feeling lonely.

My best advice is to make sure he has a blanket or lovey and remind him that if he wakes up and feels lonely, to give it a big hug. Teddy bears are quite good in this situation…and the squishier, the better! And if you hold it on your lap during the bedtime routine, it will likely start to smell like mom (or dad). And be sure you’re spending spend quality time during the day with him so he isn’t looking for that connection in the middle of the night.

# 3. Loud or Unexpected Noises
Do you live by a hospital or fire house where there are frequently ambulances or fire trucks coming and going at all hours of the night? Do you get up for work super early and those creaky floors outside his door are unavoidable?

My advice is to talk about the noises he may hear during the day…point them out and make him aware of what a “normal” noise could be in the middle of the night. For those squeaky floors, I’ve had families put an “X” on the squeak with painters tape so they remember not to step on that part at 5am. And using a white noise machine is ideal to muffle those sounds, so he doesn’t wake up from them in the first place!

Photo: Sebra69 | Dreamstime

# 4. Scared of the Dark
Maybe your child has expressed fears of being in the dark alone, or thinks he’ll have a bad dream.  These are legitimate reasons for not wanting to stay in bed all night, BUT there are things you can do to ease his fears.

Using a nightlight or keeping the closet light on with the door slightly ajar is a good option. Word to the wise: make sure you test out which outlet you put the nightlight in…it may create “spooky” shadows on one wall and not another!

I also recommend the book Mommy, Daddy, I Had a Bad Dream by Martha Heineman Peiper. I actually wrote a post on why I like this book so be sure to check that out…

# 5. Bad Habit
If your child has been getting up in the middle of the night for a few months (or longer), this is likely a habit that will require some good old fashioned behavior modification…or in plain terms, rewards and consequences! I would much rather reward a child for good behavior than punish for bad behavior, so focus on the rewards first.

If you don’t already have a reward chart, get one or make one. Be sure to include your child in choosing stickers, decorating it and make the terms crystal clear. Make sure to think of rewards that are enticing, but don’t go out and spend a fortune. A small toy or book is fine, but I much prefer an experience–going to a new park with mom and dad, baking a special treat, etc.
These are the top 5 behavioral reasons that I see, but of course this isn’t an exhaustive list because there are always medical reasons, too, when it comes to sleep disturbances…If none of the reasons above seem to fit your situation,  you’ll want to have a conversation with your pediatrician.

But if you read through these and had a light bulb moment, then you’ve got a behavioral sleep issue on your hands, which is definitely “fixable.”

These suggestions are just some that I’ve used with clients that have had proven success, but I would love to hear what has worked for you!

What have you tried with your child to stop the night wanderings into your room?  Please share your thoughts in the comments below!

I’m working with a family right now whose 3 1/2 year old was having troubling staying in her bed at bedtime, waking up for 2 hours in the middle of the night, and up at 5am ready to start the day!  Bedtime had become a 2 hour process, ending in a super late bedtime, and then she was up at the crack of dawn and would go into her parent’s room and announce it was time for everyone to get up!

Mom said this was a daily habit at work…

imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This family was at the breaking point and needed help…FAST!

One of my secret weapons with children this age who are having trouble staying put in their beds is a toddler clock.  I love them! They are very effective in helping to prevent those early morning bedside wakeup calls where your child tiptoes quietly into your room, stands next to your head and then announces it’s time for breakfast…or just crawls in your bed, hoping you’ll be too tired to notice!

If you’re not familiar with them, here’s how they work:

• Set bedtime and wakeup time on the clock (and some models have a second setting for nap times)
• The animal, child or sun/moon will be shown asleep at night and awake when it’s time to get up

These work because they are a visual cue for the child to know when they should be staying in bed, and when it’s time to get up. It’s pretty abstract for a child who’s used to getting up a few times every night or waking as soon as the sun comes up to say “stay in your bed until morning.”

My favorite is the Kid’Sleep Classic…I have this one for my son:

This particular clock has LOTS of features:

• Has the dual capability of setting wakeup times for night time and nap time
• Has a night only option for younger babies and children
• Has an alarm clock for older children

If your child is waking up SUPER early (like 4:30am), setting the clock for a 7am wakeup isn’t going to fly in the beginning…think gradual progress, so set it in 15-20 min increments to slowly push the wakeup later.

It’s important to go to your child’s room when the bunny wakes up. You’re teaching your child to stay in her room all night, so you don’t want to create that loophole that if the bunny wakes up, your child can come looking for you. My advice is to set your alarm for a few minutes before the bunny is scheduled to wake up and go into your child’s room as soon as it switches…and make a big deal that your child stayed in her room. Praise goes a long way in these situations!

Of course you’ll also want to get to the root of the problem of WHY your child is waking so early!

• Typically overtiredness is the culprit, so make sure that your child is going to bed early enough to get enough sleep for her age.
• Or your child may hearing the garbage truck rumble down the street at 5am, in which case a white noise machine will help.
• Or take a look at how much light is coming in when the sun is coming up…you might need to consider a better window covering.

So that 3 1/2 year old I’m working with? She’s eliminated those 2 hour night wakeups AND she’s staying in her room until 6:45am. And bedtime is a breeze…they do their bedtime routine, tuck in and lights out. Not a peep until morning. Huge progress, and her toddler clock was an integral part of her success!

You want to be like this (having a relaxing day, enjoying the company of your spouse, smiling and laughing…clearly having enough energy for a shower and makeup!):

Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

…but lately it’s more like this (resentment from always being the one to get up in the middle of the night…or just another sink full of dirty dishes!):

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

or this!?

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sleep deprivation puts a strain on even the strongest of relationships.  Without enough sleep, couples often complain that they are too tired to thank their partner, they feel taken for granted, are more selfish and are less likely to be attuned to their partner’s needs and mood.  There were definitely feelings of unappreciation and ingratitude between my husband and I before we sleep trained our son.  He was 18 months old and still waking up four times each night and we could barely function, let alone muster up enough energy to be nice to each other   But once he had the skills to sleep through the night and we were all getting more rest, our feelings toward each other dramatically improved.  Sleep is an amazing thing.

And a new study published this week from the University of California Berkeley shows this connection between sleep habits and feelings of gratitude and appreciation between married couples and romantic partners.

More than 60 couples ages 18-56 participated in the studies.  In one, participants were asked to record how they slept the night before and how their sleep affected their feelings of appreciation toward their spouse or partner.  With less sleep, couples felt less appreciated.  In another study, couples were asked to complete problem solving tasks while being videotaped.  Those participants who had slept poorly the night before had less appreciation toward their partner and had a more difficult time valuing him or her.

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I want to help spread the love (of sleep) to sleep deprived parents.  I want encourage families to tackle their children’s sleep issues and start laughing again with their spouse!

Image courtesy of africa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So I’m offering a special Valentine’s Day promotion.  Parents who book a consultation between February 1-14, 2013 will receive an additional week of unlimited email support, in addition to the follow up support already included in their Sleep Solution Package. Just send me an email and we’ll get started right away!

This Valentine’s Day, instead of the traditional flowers and chocolate, treat your sleep deprived sweetie to the gift of sleep.  The benefits (for your child, you and your relationship) will far outlast fresh cut flowers or a pound of chocolate!

I LOVE when parents are thinking this way! Obviously we want our kid’s rooms to look nice and “kid-like” but it’s also important to optimize the space for good sleeping too!

The color that is painted on the walls will influence mood, thoughts and emotions. For the most soothing sleeping environment, choose a color that evokes calmness and relaxation in your child’s bedroom (as well as your own).

So how do you choose the right one?

In general, neutrals and earth tones are good choices.  Neutrals (darker white, gray, beige, taupe) are very calming and relaxing and will neither stimulate, nor depress, mood or emotion.  Darker colors will help a larger bedroom feel more cozy, while lighter colors will give the room a more spacious feel.

Here’s a little cheat sheet for the emotional properties of each color:

RED: higher energy, aggressiveness, strength, power, irritability; also encourages appetite (which is why many fast food restaurants use red on their signs and storefronts). Studies have shown that red can also raise blood pressure and heart rate. Best for the dining room, not the bedroom!

ORANGE: increases energy levels, evokes feelings of excitement and exuberance. A perfect color in an exercise room, NOT a good choice for a bedroom color!

YELLOW: happiness, joy, uplifting, optimism. But having large amounts of yellow in a room or darker shades of yellow can actually increase tension, so use small amounts and/or paler shades.  A soft, pale yellow would be a good choice for a child’s room, if you’re doing a gender neutral bedroom.  We didn’t find out the sex before baby #1 was born, so we picked a pale yellow for three walls of the nursery (and a mural for the last wall, see below).

GREEN: restful (ding, ding!), calming, relaxing, balance, nature, organic, growth. It’s no wonder that green is a dominant color in hospitals, medical offices and at spas. A GREAT choice for a bedroom!

BLUE: relaxing, comforting, calming. Studies have shown that blue will have the opposite effect of red, slowing down respiration, heart rate and blood pressure and lower body temperature. Darker blues can evoke feelings of sadness, so stick to the warmer, lighter blues–periwinkle or sky blue–that evoke feelings of calm, quiet and being protected. Here is a picture of my older son’s room with a soft blue and painted white and beige stripes below the border…we’re now in the process of painting over the alphabet and truck border and getting a solid color duvet since he’s getting a bit old for that

PURPLE: this one can go both ways, depending on the shade. Darker purple is associated with sophistication and elegance and lighter and paler purples (violet, lilac or lavender) are associated with calm, relaxation and rest.  Softer tones are much more soothing for a child’s bedroom.

PINK: soothing, calm, soft, innocence. Again, a paler shade will be more soothing…steer clear of the darker, more intense pinks in a bedroom.

WHITE: calm, peace. This default color is always a great choice for creating a relaxing bedroom environment, BUT most white rooms have lots of bursts of color, so keep that in mind when choosing wall, floor and window coverings, as well as bedding (using the other calming colors in your color accents would be a great opportunity).

BROWN: contentment, calm, cozy. As mentioned above, neutral colors in the brown family (taupe, beige) are excellent choices for a bedroom.

So as you can see color psychology is a very real thing!  Your best bet for a calm and relaxing bedroom environment is a light green, pale yellow, warm blue, light purple, white or a brown tone…or using these colors as accent colors in window and floor coverings (or painted borders or murals).

I have an exceptionally gifted artist in the family–my mom!–and she painted this “Wind in the Willow” inspired mural right before my oldest was born (WAY before I became a sleep consultant and thought about color psychology!) with soft blue, light green, violet, pale yellow, brown and darker white.   (And our chocolate brown lab, Max, perched protectively in the corner!)  Sitting across from this mural in the glider, feeding the last bottle of the day and/or reading bedtime stories, I have enjoyed looking at this for the past 8 1/2 years. Such a soothing scene, with a little bit of whimsy. Perfect for a little one’s room.

I know sometime soon son #2 will decide he wants trucks or sports instead of Mr. Toad…but I’m sure my mom will be able to work her magic again!

These are the top items on the sleep wish list for many parents!

So reflecting on 2012, I wanted to see what the top sleep issues really were.  Seeing as how I LOVE math (I’m actually not being facetious…I was a math tutor for 7+ years!), I wanted to see what I could gleam from analyzing the information from some of the parent questionnaires from this past year to help parents get a headstart in 2013.

I looked at a sampling of client questionnaires from the past several months for 45 babies and toddlers:

• 0-3 months: 4
• 3-6 months: 14
• 6-12 months: 13
• 1-3 years: 10
• over 3 years: 4

This follows a general trend or bell curve showing that parents are more likely to hire a sleep consultant for their children’s sleep issues between 3 months and 3 years of age.  (In my experience, the best age–when the process goes most quickly–to teach your baby to sleep independently is 4-5 months.)

Some interesting findings from these questionnaires include that:

1. 91% of parents read at least one sleep training book before hiring a professional sleep consultant (62% read 2 or more)

Most parents will do a lot of research before calling me.  The problem that I found, which many pointed out, was that these books are often 300+ pages long…and these parents are already sleep deprived, so getting through it, and understanding what to do for their unique situation, often made them give up their independent efforts!

2. 76% of the babies and toddlers were fed, rocked or held to sleep

And nearly 100% of the 15 months and younger crowd needed mom or dad to feed/rock/hold them to sleep…meaning none of them were falling asleep by themselves!  Teaching babies and toddlers to fall asleep on their own is such an important skill to master.  Bedtime becomes an enjoyable time of day and since they are able to put themselves back to sleep when they wake from a sleep cycle, night wakings decrease or are eliminated.

3. 87% of the children relied on 2 or more sleep props to soothe themselves to sleep

Very rarely do I speak with a family who only has one sleep prop (bottle/breastfeeding to sleep, car or stroller rides, sleeping in the swing, rocking, and pacifiers are the most common).  Typically families will start feeding to sleep, for instance, but as the baby gets older, that doesn’t work as well, so they introduce more sleep props like stroller rides at nap time or strategically placing 15 pacifiers in the crib.  And then everything snowballs and by the time they call me, they have a very specific routine that has to be implemented like clockwork for there to be ANY chance of it working!  The best thing parents can do is to take away the need for these sleep props so the baby can learn how to get to sleep without needing something to get him or her to sleep.

4. 100% of the children showed signs of overtiredness during the day and before bed

Overtiredness is the enemy! I’ve talked to quite a few parents who think keeping a child up longer “to wear him out” will make sleep come quicker and get him sleeping through the night. But in fact, the opposite is true! When a child goes to sleep in the right “window” (tired enough for sleep but not overtired and wired), everything falls into place. Considering every single one of my clients had this issue, there’s a good probability that overtiredness may be a barrier for your child too.

5. 84% of the children had a bedtime routine that was too long (or in some instances, too short)

When a bedtime routine is too short, and you transition too quickly from dinner and playing, it’s unlikely your child will be ready to fall asleep because he won’t have had enough time to wind down. The ideal bedtime routine is about 20-30 minutes, depending on age, whether you have multiples and there is a bath included in the routine…so a 5 minute routine is too short and an hour is WAY too long!

6. 87% of the babies and toddlers took short naps (less than 45 minutes)

This is a pretty high number, but it makes sense.  Sleep cycles are about 40-45 minutes, so when a child has a short nap of this length, it shows that he or she doesn’t yet have the skills to fall asleep easily on his or her own. When a family is struggling with their child’s sleep, bedtime and nightwakings are usually an issue.  Once babies and toddlers are able to fall asleep easily at bedtime and get themselves back to sleep during the night, short naps can be fixed more quickly.

SO, what can you do to start getting your baby or toddler to sleep better in 2013?

Photo courtesy of FrameAngel/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

#1  Encourage your child to fall asleep independently, without relying on sleep props.  Anything you feel you need to do for your child to get him to fall asleep is a sleep prop. Once sleep props are removed, your child will be able to develop a strategy to get himself to sleep…on his own!

#2  Ensure that your child’s bedtime routine is the appropriate length.  Remember, the purpose of the bedtime routine is to cue the brain and body that it’s time to settle down and get ready for sleep but shouldn’t be so long that your child loses focus of where you’re headed!

#3 Parents should watch for signs of overtiredness in their children and put them to bed (or down for a nap) within the appropriate timeframe. Overtiredness in children can be exhibited by hyperactivity, so children who look “wide awake” at bedtime have become overtired.

‘Tis the season for resolutions, and in my opinion, getting better sleep is one of the best ones a person can make!  You don’t want to be in this same exact situation come January 2, 2014!  Remember that the most recent research (Pediatrics, January 2012) suggests that children will not necessarily outgrow sleep issues if they are not addressed and resolved.  (Previous research suggested that child sleep issues would persist 3-5 years…)  Teaching your child healthy sleep skills from an early age is so important for their health, behavior, learning and mood, and the sooner you start, the easier the process will be.

Today I spoke with 7 tired moms in Chicago, Indiana, Ohio, Washington state and Washington D.C. who all want to make sleep a priority in 2013.  If you would like to talk with me about your current situation and get some professional advice about resolving your baby or toddler’s sleep problems soon, send me an email and we’ll schedule a free 15-minute evaluation…I’d love to talk with you!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Every December I get so excited…decorating the house, planning holidays meals and treats, focusing on the traditions we have and remembering the true meaning of the season.

This year I’m starting a new tradition.

Every December I will be choosing a charity to support, apart from our personal donations throughout the year, that focuses on helping children.

This year, I’ve chosen the Pajama Program.

“So many children are without warm bedtime clothing and education so we developed a creative program to provide some of both,” said Genevieve Piturro, Founder and Executive Director of the Pajama Program. “We intend to make a difference – giving back is what it’s all about.” The receiving organizations of the pajamas and books are shelters, group homes, and temporary housing situations and help children, many of whom have been abandoned, abused or neglected.

If you’ve ever heard one of my presentations on sleep or read any of my sleep tips, you know how I feel about bedtime routines.  Getting cozy, feeling the love from mom or dad (or grandma or another caregiver) as they get read a bedtime story or two…it’s SO important!  That’s why I think the Pajama Program is such a wonderful organization. They’re helping to bring new pajamas and new books to children who wouldn’t normally have access to these basic needs.

So this year, for every family that purchases a Sleep Solution Package from December 1-21st, a donation of new pajamas and books will be made to the Pajama Program.

One mom I spoke to yesterday told me, “I’ve been looking at your site, particularly the success stories, every night at 3am when my little guy has woken up for the umpteenth time and I get so encouraged…but when I saw the announcement about the Pajama Program, I finally decided to do it. It’s time to fix our issues, and if we can help another little boy or girl at the same time…well, that’s even better!”

So if you’ve been wavering, maybe this is the time for you to give me a call! (Don’t forget that I offer a free 15-minute call to discuss your child’s sleep issues…)

The Pajama Program is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization, founded in 2001, and currently has 63 chapters in 40 states.